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Sometimes, the goal of maintaining a friendship with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend is easy to achieve. This is especially true if old feelings have died out and you have truly moved on.
Then, if you have the desire to be friends with an ex, it can easily be done. This doesn’t work out so seamlessly if one part of the equation still has some type of romantic sentiment for the other.
This is where jealously comes into play and destroys the chance of friendship. Another issue may occur. This is where you begin to rely on the friendship that you are building, but one half of the pair isn’t as committed as you are and only are available if they are looking for a shoulder to cry on.
Any of these scenarios are possible and you can begin to recognize which one you are dealing with before you get too involved with making it work.
A long time ago, a friendship that I was very deeply and involved in turned into a true romance. Though we had both been enjoying the relationship, we ended up choosing to split up. Afterward, we ended up staying good friends, which doesn’t happen for me too often.
Most exes aren’t people that I can maintain a healthy friendship with – I think she was different because she placed a lot of importance on our relationship as friends before any type of romantic involvement.
Regardless of what I am going through, her support never wanes. I try to reciprocate and do the same for her. If you find that you can be friends with an ex, you truly have found a rare and special relationship. You have found a person that has true feelings for you – as a person, if they can walk away from the romance, but love you enough to keep you in their life you’ve got a true friend.
You have to remember that if there are any lingering feelings between you and your ex it won’t work out. No matter how much you want to remain friends, it isn’t comfortable being in a situation like this. There is a major difference between dating and a friendship and you will quickly notice this when feelings are still involved. This is when you should probably take a step back.
In another scenario, you have an ex but you aren’t sure if you are headed back toward romance or toward a friendship. This is because they tend to only get in touch with you when they feel that their life is falling apart. They call, and hope to hear that you are failing at whatever relationship you are involved in.
These people stand out from the rest because their contact with you isn’t consistent. By talking to you, and hearing that you are having a bad time, they make themselves feel good and more positive about their own situations. In the end, they are only using you because you will notice that once they receive some type of gratification, they disappear, yet again.
Most of us want to stay friends with an ex. When we date someone, it becomes emotional and we form a bond with them that we don’t necessarily want to throw away. Keeping in mind that not every relationship is salvageable and very importantly it varies from one relationship to the next.
You may not be able to stay friends with one ex, but another may end up being your new best friend. Of course, an open and clear mind will help you make the choice on what is possible with each person. In closing, I wish to crave your indulgence by asking: Can you and your ex ever become the best of friends?
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