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Getting over a break up is never easy on anyone; it’s often hardest to get over if you didn’t do the actual breaking up. Accepting the break up is the first step towards getting over it.
Unfortunately, so many people stalk their ex almost mercilessly, calling them non-stop, sending 200 or more text messages per day or surrounding their residence that it makes the break up ten times worse! This is NOT accepting the break up.
I was once in a relationship with a woman that seemed to love drama – and may I also add – a cheater at that, which I later discovered. It seemed like we were always breaking up. She was impulsive and compulsive. She would often speak of ending the relationship or say we needed to take a relationship break. I would agree, as painful as it was to me.
However, something I noticed which religiously took place before I even got into work – she would be calling me on the telephone to chat about this, that and the other thing as though nothing happened. What’s up with that? Was the question that continued to circle my mind!
When I would ask her why she was calling, she would get indignant and ask me why I didn’t want to talk to her or if I was happy we broke up and on and on. She would always say that even if we were on a break or broken up, for that matter, she still wanted us to remain friends.
What I realized (can’t believe it took me so long) was that this “remaining friends” routine was just her way of always knowing what I was doing and making sure I was available if it was convenient for her to be part of a couple again. How blinded I was. This made it virtually impossible for me to get over the break up.
If you’re relating to this and may just be going through a similar episode – here are some very helpful tips on getting over a break up. The advice here will not immediately stop you from thinking of your ex, but you will get past it much quicker if you follow these tips. Trust me – I know! I’ve been there.
You are going to feel pain over the end of a relationship, especially if you still love your ex. Don’t be afraid to cry and feel the pain. Sometimes having a good cry is the first step towards getting over it. Talk with friends and family members. Just getting the feelings off your chest can often make a big difference as well. They may also be able to give you some helpful feedback on how they viewed you as a couple and how they view the break up. It may not be what you want to hear, but it may be very helpful.
Concentrate on your future – a future without your ex. You may still get back together some time in the future but if you concentrate on this all the time and think of nothing else, you’ll never get over the break up.
Start seeing friends again and doing things you enjoyed in the past. The one bad thing about relationships is that we often neglect our friends and fun activities and devote all our time and energy on our partner. When there is a break up, we tend to feel all alone. Get on the phone and start calling friends or start a hobby.
Do NOT try to be friends with your ex – at least not while you’re hurting. I heard this a long time ago and really believe it (probably from personal experiences): Friends can become lovers, but lovers cannot go back to being friends.
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